Four Spooky Creatures You Should Never Hire

Written by Abby Nieten on October 31, 2012

Posted in Human Resources

A monster mash may be fun when grooving with your favorite spooky pals, but when it comes to hiring the people who will keep your company alive – there are a few goblins you’ll want to banish from the premises.

Here are four dangerous creatures that you need to watch out for when hiring:

1. Vampire aka “Count Life Sucker”
Vampires were all the rage a few years ago a la Twilight Saga, but let’s get real here for a second – they’re freaking terrifying. And when that translates to a person on your team, the results can be blood curdling.

Your office environment, whatever that may be, should be a place where people enjoy working. Hiring employees who suck the fun out of productivity can be detrimental to the life of your team. One bad apple and the quality of life of each individual can soon be draining from their spirits.

Hire people that are not only talented, but can breathe a sense of inspiration and innovation into an office environment full of different personalities. Make sure that they will not only do great work, but also keep the group moving forward.

Plus, who has room for a graveyard-shift marketing specialist anyway…

2. Woeful Witches
These temperamental tormentors are often intriguing with their delectable brews and enchanting spells; but beware of their craft.  Those with witch-like qualities can often be wrapped up in their own spell-bound agendas to focus on the bigger picture.

In non-spooky terms? Don’t hire people who aren’t team players and get easily caught up in the “what’s mine is mine” mentality. Often times, you’ll have to do work that you weren’t scripted for. You need to hire people who are willing to carry the extra load no matter what. It’s not just about hiring hard workers; it’s about hiring generous people who are willing to help others.

Witches are known to seek revenge amongst those who cross them. Don’t hire people who keep score. Stirring up curses is not exactly the best for company morale.

3. Ghost Town Floaters
Casper was cute and all, but as for the masses – ghosts aren’t exactly the most attentive creatures. Floating away without word of when they’ll return, these absent-minded folks are a potential killer of not only productivity, but also team building.

Perhaps you have someone working remotely… or heck, even several people. Be sure that it isn’t a ghost town in your main space. Prepare reliable technology so your team, no matter where they are, can connect on a regular basis. Don’t let anyone float away unnoticed. And certainly don’t hire folks that require a séance to appear again.

4. Victor Frankenstein, All Work and No Play
Sure. You have brilliant people working on your team and you want to expand that to benefit product development. But seriously? Did you see how that turned out for Victor?

To prevent from creating catastrophes like the barrel-headed, green monster that is Frankenstein, be sure to hire people that are not only brilliant, but communicative and intuitive. It’s not enough to be a scientist or engineer. You need people who can understand the pains of your customers and know how to creatively translate those into product solutions.

If not, you’ll risk a riot of townspeople coming to get you.

Have you seen a few goblins come through your interview doors? Share with us some of the horror stories below!

Also, be sure to grab our free Halloween form theme if you need some last minute Halloween spirit.